A Heart Worth Protecting

Ladies, I know we're all searching for love. There's a reason we have the stereotype of watching "The Longest Ride," "The Vow," and "The Notebook." (Honestly anything with a romantic subplot is great literature when we start bingeing on Ben and Jerry's XD ). We want that all consuming love that only comes from the one God has made for us. We want to be held, protected, cherished, and deeply, incredibly, (did I mention deeply?) loved. But now we're willing to settle for who we think we want rather than who God has for us, who we need. We don't want to, but we're almost, not quite, but almost convinced that we have to. God will give us someone patient and kind. Give us someone who completely accepts our habits that we hate, and our horrible hair days. Give us the kind of love that will bring us to heaven. The kind of marriage with him at the center, a love so strong it imitates the Trinity, true love itself. We are told we have to take what we get and what we see. So, so not true. We call men to a higher standard, we have a power inside of ourselves that men are drawn to, that they will chase after, fight and compete for. We are awesome. We are beautiful, kind, funny, smart. We are worthy of unimaginable love. We deserve men who will protect our hearts, keep us emotionally chaste. We need to remind our sisters in Christ that we deserve a heck of a lot more than what we're getting, and remind ourselves that we are worthy of love that would die for us, and He did. So please don't ever forget, whether you're on the "hot list" or "not list", whether you're the one all the guys chase after or you're never asked to a dance, you are awesome and you have a heart worth protecting. Don't forget it.

~*`~*`Check out the video title and creator below for a great video by a fantastic company~*`~*`

Who You Are - A Message to All Women by The Anima Series

Love with a Capital L

We all have that moment. The internal battle at each passing. Do I smile? Say Hello? throw a head nod? Avoid eye contact all together? The result tends to be a graceless combination of all the above in one distressing gesture of weirdness.

Guys tend to do this to us girls, ESPECIALLY the "One." The thing is, how do we know he's the One? We don't. Plain and simple. We can have as many crushes as we like, plan as many "Chapel-on-a-hill-baby-in-three-years" lives, as we like. But what if he isn't the one God has planned for you? Good luck with that one, sweetie.

And we've all seen it before; in movies, books, TV shows, even that picture on EVERY social media site there is. "80% of all people marry their 7th to 12th grade love." But what happens after the marriage? If he's not the one God intended, then keeping it together will be impossible. Fact of the matter is, unless you met him in a good Catholic college, a youth group, church, pretty much ANYWHERE that has God at the center of it, you can find the "ONE." Not the "One", "The ONE."

"THE ONE", would be Jesus Christ. We all want Prince Charming to come in and sweep us off our feet and ride of into a sunset. But Love is so much bigger. Love came down to earth, became Man and died. Not for Himself. Not just because He Loves me. Not just because He Loves you. He died, because He Loves EVERYONE. He died, FOR EVERYONE. Because that's what God is. Love. With a capital "L". For in order to Love your spouse, you must first know the meaning of Love.

Love is being betrayed (by a kiss, no less) by one of your twelve closest friends. Love is being spat upon, lashed until your body is the same color as a stop sign. Love is being mocked, crowned by thorns, beaten with reeds.

Love is carrying the very thing that will kill you up the hilly roads of Jerusalem.

Love is slowly suffocating, hanging up in the air, only supported by the nails in your wrists and feet.

Love is taking on the sins of the world, past, present, and future. Bearing them your whole life.

THAT, is Love. Until we understand Love, we cannot fully Love our spouse. Because God is the center of every marriage. A woman should be so lost in God, that a man has to look up to God to find her. (One of Layna's favorite quotes.) And God. Is. LOVE.

~R.A.

The pink paragraph is a paraphrase/excerpt from Katie Hartfiel's book, Woman in Love. I would recommend all girls 12+ to read in. Though, the last few chapters are some that your mother may wish to read with you.

Good Friends and Faith Life Pt. 3

Good Friends and Faith Life
Part 3.

 Love: an intense feeling of deep affection.
The fact that we've sunk so low that we define love by feelings is depressing.

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Love isn't just a feeling. Those butterflies you get when you see Catholic Cutie are great and all, but it's not love. Loving your spouse is knowing you'll pass that exciting honeymoon stage and go into times of contentment and joy, and times of hardship. Loving your friend is even when they're having a bad day, not judging them and listening. It's sitting there, not having to talk, but just be together. Loving your family is not killing them😂. Jk. Loving your family is spending time with them even when they're driving you crazy. Love is an action.

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We choose to love. Especially those who we think least deserve it. We need to choose to love the bullies. We need to choose to love the people who abandon us, the people with SSA, the people who are abortionists. The people that seem to be the most damaging are often the most damaged and in need of love.

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We all need God in our lives. People who run around getting drunk or taking drugs are looking for a sense of contentment but that can only be found in love. This desire for love exists because we exist to fill a desire. Not a need, a want. We are wanted. Because like we want love, God wants us. He wants us to choose him, he doesn't want robots. No one wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with him. Love is mutual. Love is work. Love is a choice. It's patient, and kind, it doesn't boast and it isn't envious. Faith, hope and love remain, and the greatest of these is love.

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Bible verses

1Cor 13
Lke 6:35
Romans 12:9
Mark 12:31
Romans 13:10

Good Friends and Faith Life Pt. 2

Good Friends and Faith Life
Part 2.

Trust: the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
Trust is the second part of a relationship, evolving from respect. If you do not trust a person to tell you the truth, it becomes difficult to respect them. But trust is more than believing in one's secret keeping abilities.

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Trust is almost like handing someone your heart, and knowing they won't break it. It's telling them your deepest secret and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they won't tell anyone. It's hard won, but easily lost.
Trust isn't easy. You have to prove yourself to be trustworthy. If you haven't, how can you expect people to tell you anything?

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When someone trusts you with something, they believe you won't go behind their back, or make them regret it. Say or do anything to lose that trust, you'll have a hard time winning it back. Don't throw it away over something stupid. Don't do anything you wouldn't want someone else to do.

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Our relationship with God is built on trust. With religious matters, it's often called faith😜. We trust God has a plan for us. We trust that everything he does is to better us and push us towards sainthood. We trust in his love and forgiveness. We trust in his existence through what he has revealed to us. If we don't trust him, we feel empty. Trust is crucial to  relationships. Are you trustworthy?

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Bible verses
Matt 7:12
Jeremiah 17:7-8
Isaiah 43:2
Psalm 56:3
1Jhn 5:14

Good Friends and Faith Life Pt. 1

Hey everyone!
This week I'll be writing articles/devotionals on how to be a good friend and how it relates to our faith lives. I hope, if you're having friendship issues, this helps and maybe you and your friends can read it together.
Enjoy!

Good Friends and Faith Life
Part 1.

 Respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their qualities of abilities.
That is how the New Oxford Dictionary defines respect. But if you were merely friends with someone because of their popularity or their looks we'd call you shallow. Without respect for ranks, age, wisdom or titles, society would crumble. But before you even get to know a person you respect them, right? The foundation of any relationship is respect. If that means listening when your friend needs to talk, or honoring the fact that they may not want to talk about something at all, you respect it. It's their business and they'll share when they're ready. Same as they'll respect you and listen when YOURE ready. Your friend may never be ready but you have to respect that.

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God created us in His image. He is the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and knows everything. If you can't respect yourself and love yourself, you push yourself away from God. You run to things of this world, like self harm or eating disorders. You're trying to build a relationship with God. Relationships only work with respect and communication. These things work both ways. Sometimes things won't go your way and you have to respect God's plan, and instead of talking to Him about it, listen to what he has to say. Respect is everything.

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We define respect as a mutual understanding and trust between two people and their needs, regardless of social or economic standing, or race.
Do you really respect those around you?

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Bible verses
1Cor 6:19-20
1Peter 2:17
John 13:34
Matt 7:12

How I stay Modest in the Summer

Hey everyone! Layna here.  So I decided to do a (hopefully) helpful blog post for my first one.  Now a lot of girls have to deal with the hardships of staying modest.  Now in the summer, this can be especially hard.  But I am here for the rescue, and hopefully what I wear during the summer, while still being modest, helps you get through this summer too.

Now first off, I learned last year at a Steubenville conference, that girls can stay modest by not letting a man look at any part of your body that can be covered by a 1950's bathing suit.  So basically, no strapless, no low cuts, and shorts, skirts, and dresses lay at the fingertip, or lower.  (Note: if you are not sure where your modesty boundaries lie, please talk to your parents about it.  This post includes my mother and I's view of modesty, so if you're not sure, don't be afraid to ask.)  Here is what a 1950's bathing suit looks like:

Let's start with dresses.  This has straps, and is pretty close to my knee, so it's good.  Now if your church is like mine, and is pretty much always cold, you don't feel like changing for Mass, and/or you feel uncomfortable showing your shoulders and knees, just grab a jacket, and maybe a pair of leggings.  Then you can just throw them in the back of your car on the way to a friend's house/ barbecue.  

Next is shirts.  Until the conference last year, I wasn't allowed to wear spaghetti strapped shirts, but I'm here to tell you that it is ok.  So are regular tank tops.  And if its colder, a regular t-shirt with a skirt is a good combo.  I normally tuck my tank tops in, because they are more fitted than a regular shirt, and don't look as good untucked.  To me anyway.  Everyone feels differently though, so just do what makes you feel comfortable.

Now shorts.  To stay modest, try to make sure the shorts touch your fingertip of longer, as seen below.  And please keep in mind that some girl's legs are longer than others, therefore, they might show a little more leg than others.

Next are the popular crop-tops.  Here's how I deal with them;  I wear a camisole or tank-top under it.  Most crop-tops are loose and flowy, so if you put something under it, it won't add to the heat.

Lastly is bathing suits.  Now bikinis are becoming more popular, and most teens can't fit in the little girl's tankinis, thus making us move to the juniors and women's bathing suits where bikinis are everywhere.  (Side note, the women's tankinis and one-pieces are sometimes too "old laday-like" to me, so I don't feel comfortable wearing them.)  I actually got my bathing suit top separately from my bottom.  The bottom I got from Justice, where I got the second to biggest size; and the top is from JCPenny.  This top is pretty much backless, but my mom is ok with it, because it covers everything else nicely.  (Note, if you ever do go with backless, to stay modest, try to make sure it doesn't go lower than your waistline.) So in general, this type of bathing suit top should be ok, but if your parents don't like it, than you should listen to them.

So I really hope this helped you guys out, and that your summer is a great one.  If you have any questions, just comment below! :) 

God Bless! 

Love, 

Layna.  <3

Waiting at the Altar

*This will be a long article, just a warning, so I’ll be splitting it up into two articles, one for the directed towards the girls and towards the guys*

OK ladies, let's own up. No matter who you are, where you're from, you want a guy to sweep you off your feet. Laugh with you, talk to you, pray with you, love you. But sometimes in this quest for true love, we get discouraged. Sometimes we go to a dance and don't get asked to dance, by ANY of the guys, maybe a friend who felt the same way you did just started dating, maybe you're wondering why you're waiting at all. I've experienced all three, nothing a tough practice, soccer ball, ice cream, and a good cry couldn't fix. But in the midst of all these insecurities and doubts, we also wonder if there's anyone out there who has the same beliefs. The biggest question of all is "will I find someone who respects and agrees with my decision to wait until marriage?”

I asked a few people these questions:

1. How important is waiting for marriage to you?
2. Does it mean no dating until marriage is a possibility?
3. Is it more attractive when someone else has those ideals?
4. Do you think modesty shows a girl is waiting? (This one was directed more towards the guys:P)
5. Any words to help encourage people who are maybe a little discouraged by the lack of people who have this high a standard, or are maybe feeling down because of the lack of any relationships in their lives that others may have?

The responses were:

1.      “Major priority.”

“I believe a man and woman should be as pure as possible leading up to their marriage. From experience, trust me on this.”

 “Super duper important! Waiting for marriage means giving yourself more completely to your spouse-to-be and showing them that you are willing to sacrifice your own pleasure now for both of your happiness later on.” (I love the last one J.)

“Waiting for marriage is very important to me when it comes to accomplishing things first that can benefit me and my wife.”

2.      “Dating without marriage in reach is absolutely ridiculous! While dating is very important, our culture tends to skew the context of the word. Dating is a special type of friendship in which we learn to love someone, a crucial part of getting ready for marriage in the future. It is important to discern what people in your life are for that and what people are meant to fulfill a different role. This can be hard, especially for guys. It takes a lot of prayer and discernment.”

“I don’t believe in saying until you’re married. Like, no dating. You can still have a good dating life and not compromise to the ways of the world. You can miss out on a lot by not dating. There are godly men out there. Whether or not they’re your husband is up to God.”

 “Dating is super important; you really do need to get to know people in a special way before you can make any kind of decision on whether or not to spend the rest of your life with them! Even if marriage isn’t a possibility at the moment (high school, if you find someone you truly love and who truly loves you, there should be no problem staying together until marriage IS an option.”

3.      “Yes, for sure. For me, someone I can pray with and trust, but that’s me. Everyone has their dream person buy remember that guy/girl you have in your head is not always what God throws at you. In fact, that’s rarely the case. Don’t expect perfection. Just be open and let God call you.”

“For the most part, yes! Faith wise, at least. I don’t want someone to have the exact same views on every other scale of life. Soo… A lot?? Of course lol but I want to learn and see knew things. You can’t always get that with someone who agrees on everything with you.”

“Definitely!” (Love it! I’m laughing as a type this hahaha…)

“It is definitely attractive that one meets a person with the same ideals because both enjoy each other and make a stronger relationship, I would say.”

 

4.      “Modest is the hottest J of course. But the sad thing is that the virtuous girl who keeps to herself is usually not the center of attention (and often hard to find or recognize.)”

“I believe modesty is a woman not conforming to the ways of man. Whether it’s staying pure until marriage, dressing modestly, being faithful to God, etc. 100%. Goes the same for guys.”

“YES. I think girls hear the whole “modest is hottest” thing a lot, but don’t necessarily believe it. Coming from a guy, I can tell you it’s true! Really short shorts and revealing tops are a major turn off for me. I want a girl that cares enough about herself and her own dignity that she doesn’t try and show herself off to every guy that comes around the corner. “Dressing this way is like rolling in mud: it gets you attention, but mostly from pigs.””

“Modesty can mean a lot to men. For me, it means that women have respect for themselves and that we should respect them. Modesty shows that the individual sets standards so it gives many people a chance to see if they meet those standards. It proves that one is waiting for marriage because they show that they don’t like to conform to the lies of this world.”

 

5.      “It’s not easy, but I know it’s worth waiting for even though I don’t have a whole lot of experience to go with it. Have faith, always hope, and no matter what, love. God will take care of the rest.”

“In my opinion dating can be overrated. I’ve been in a fair amount of relationships and today I’ve been with a girl for 8 months who I love dearly. But don’t let other relationships fool you into it being the world. At times it is and its great but bouts of singleness can be a blessing in themselves.”

“I totally feel for you. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t find people with your values! God has a plan for you, and it’s probably way beyond your understanding. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”-Jeremiah29:11. It took me until this summer to find someone, and I guarantee God has someone for you too. All you need to do is wait and trust him. God bless!”

“Those who are feeling discouraged, I would tell them that I support them and that having high standards will definitely lure the right man/woman and not the one that every woman/man wants. Those who are having problems should try fasting, praying and talking about problems that can be tackled down easily and then the ones that are hard will take time and dedication from both partners.”

 

Several very different points of view to see dating from, but you’ll notice prayer, fasting and, most importantly, patience are at the center of all their messages. I know it’s discouraging. You may have had a crush on this one guy for the longest time, and planned out the wedding, where you’ll live, imagined scenarios of him sweeping you off your feet, and so on and so forth. He may even like you too, so you jump into dating him, something you may regret later if you don’t set the standards, guidelines, and goals together. Being with someone just to be with them isn’t a good enough reason. Be with someone you can have a serious, funny, or pointless conversation with. Have marriage as a goal in your dating life, and Christ at the center. Otherwise, I can guarantee disaster and heartbreak. Emotional chastity is just as important as physical chastity.

 

If you dream up all these scenarios and then your crush gets a girlfriend? You’ll be crushed! Giving your heart to someone who will break it in the end isn’t fun, crying over them is pointless and painful. It’s better to have a true relationship with Christ first (sound familiar? It’s true!), and discern your vocation. Easier said than done, but finding your husband to be (HTB) should be a joyous, fun filled journey, not one filled with, regrets, tears, heartbreak and “why did I…” Write to your HTB, fall in love with him before you meet him, and tell him you are honored to wait for him.

God bless!

~R.A.

*Any guys who are interested, the girls' perspective will be posted ASAP*